Are you dabber?

Last week I went to a new pizza place near work with Shannon. Here's my quick and dirty pro/con list.
Pro: They have Snapple (Real Fact #814: Tug-of-war was an olympic sport in the early 1900's)
Con: the cashier looked at me funny when I took a straw for my Snapple. (I LIKE STRAWS, OKAY?)
Pro: The music was bumpin in an 80's scrunchies and leg warmers kind of way (Billy Joel's "Tell Her About It"? YES PLEASE.
Con: Now Billy Joel is stuck in my head.
Pro: The pizza was GOOD. The bottom crust was nice and crispy. I like a crust that can support its toppings.

Exhibit A: No thank you, sir!
Exhibit B: Yes please :)

Con: The pizza was a tad on the greasy side. This isn't the con. The con is how the people gave me a look, AGAIN, when I dabbed the top with not one but two napkins (it was greasy and the napkins were small, give me a break). It's like they were offended I was altering the product in anyway. Look man, the pizza is scrumptious but excuse me if I don't want to myocardial infarction at age 21. (yes I googled that word.)And it's not like you invented pizza, you're not even italian.

In conclusion, I will open a pizza shop when I retire. (Yes I'm already thinking about retirement and I haven't had my first full time job.) I'm still cooking up a proper name for it (gotta love a good pun). Why is my pizza shop unique you ask? My mission will be to make the least greasey pizza possible while still encouraging the dabbing. Go ahead, I invite you to dab away guilt free. And if you can fill the napkin with grease from dabbing you get your slice free of charge. That's how confident I am you won't succeed because we all know how frugal I am.

If the pizza thing doesn't work out, maybe a florist or cupcake place.