Beware of Animal.

After our last Guardian Protection Safety System sign broke in our yard, my mother thought is was necessary to get a new one (exhibit A)

She thinks it will ward of the robbers, for our safety. I disagree. In my mind, this sign serves to ward off predators for THEIR safety. I say this because if somehow they get past this system, they will be faced with my new found sharp shooting skills. If they get through this (don't make me laugh) they will surely meet defeat at the hands of this animal. Enter my father. The self-proclaimed "Deer Slayer" No joke he signed a note with that pseudonym.... And if necessary, the "robber slayer".

(please make note of the Harley muscle tank, a sure sign of someone ready to open a big stinking can of whoop-butt on YOU!)
His weapons of choice? If we're talking close range, his shiny new machete and RAMBO knife will do the trick. (the rambo knife has a sharp blade and also a sawing side, and the bottom screws off to reveal a compass and safe keeping for matches. Try to run? Oh you are in big trouble: you will meet your maker at the mercy of this bow and arrow (or his cross bow... that's right, he has a cross bow)

Potential robbers, just don't do it. I pitty the fool who tries to rob my house, I DO, I DO. That's my best Mr T....